How Your Shadow Can Help You Thrive

Meg and her sister, Liv, are complete opposites.

Meg is the “quiet one” who keeps her feelings to herself while she dutifully takes on personal and professional responsibilities.

Liv, on the other hand, resists commitments of all kinds and often says things she later regrets.

Meg thinks Liv is immature.

Liv thinks Meg is “anal-retentive."

Neither would ever dream of being like the other.

And that is a big clue that each is the shadow of the other.

The shadow is whatever we believe is “not us.”

“I would NEVER be like that—absolutely not, no way!” the shadow emphatically exclaims.

We usually project our shadow onto others and then judge as inferior those who carry our projection.

If we take a deeper dive into Meg and Liv, we might see that both developed different ways of coping with the emotional repression of their home life.

For Meg, staying in control meant she didn't have to face emotions her family did not welcome. However, now, as an adult, even though she wins a lot of accolades for being a team player, she doubts herself and doesn't speak up for what she really wants.

For Liv, rebelling against her family’s repression felt empowering—especially when she was a teen. But now she finds that her knee-jerk reactions and tendency to bail cut her off from opportunities that could really serve her.

Neither is free.

Meg’s reserve hides a deep need to let go of control long enough to express her true feelings.

While Liv secretly wishes she could create and stick to a plan to fulfill her dreams, without letting her reactivity sabotage her efforts.

What would happen if each owned what they saw as an “issue” in the other? How might each feel free?

Those are key questions of shadow work.

Shadow work is an important part of what I do as both a dreamworker and Jungian life coach.

Want to learn more? Email me at thenightisjung@gmail.com and I'll send you a link for a free 30-minute session.